Friday, July 29, 2011

I will be the greatest artist in the world!

My younger sister is an artist. She mostly draws very strange looking muscular aliens, but she's been branching out a lot more recently. Her best work, I think, are her charcoal still-life portraits. Which she refuses to post online for some reason.

She writes too, occasionally. In fact, I was all jealous and resentful of her recently because she's working on the first couple of chapters of what will probably turn out to be her best work so far. It's a funny urban fantasy with some HILARIOUS main characters who remind me desperately of a few of our old friends. It's exactly what I feel like writing right now.

However, I am in the middle of a very pensive, intense, girly fantasy book that takes place in a fantasy world. Its not real funny and its full of chicks. Por todos lados. These girls are starting to drive me crazy. I want to work with some characters who have a little more testosterone, ya know? I want someone to get shot, or punched in the nose or have their car stolen... No more of this pretty girls prancing through the forest weirdness.

Don't get me wrong. I'm in the mood to read that stuff de vez en cuando. I can usually only handle it for a day or two at a time, which is fine when I'm reading the book, because it'll only take me a few hours to read it and then I can watch Rocky again if I feel over-chickified. I was really into this story for the first month I was writing it, but when I write a book, I kind of have to live in that world for the duration of time it takes me to write it, which is one reason why I've been trying to finish the rough drafts of my novels faster and faster, so I can escape before it gets old.

Anyway, I'm all irritated with Jensen-pie right now. Not only is she working on the book that I feel like writing and she still refuses to use her talents as an artist for my devices. So, I got frustrated last week and told her that I was just going to have to become the greatest artist in the whole world and then I could draw all the hundreds of commissions that I've given her over the years and that she has failed to complete.

The point of this rambling is that I'm trying to become the greatest artist in the world. This is very difficult for me, as I've never studied art or really had much of an interest in it before last week (Exception: I did illustrate and write this one children's book once.)

They say that the best way to learn something is to teach someone else, so here is me teaching the internet how to sketch an eyeball.

Step one: draw a circle.

Step two: draw a sort of screwed up circle around that circle.

Step three: add a funky thing to make an eyebrow above your circles.

Step four: add all the other eye stuff.

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